BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives

What Do You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Share Your Kink? 13 comments

This entry was posted in Ask Jolynn BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

  What Do You Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Share Your Kink?   The big question that people with kinky desires often have is how to tell their partner that they want to try something out of the norm. What the hell do you do when you have all these fantasies that are considered kinky? Often when people finally embrace their kinky selves, it occupies their minds night and day to the point of distraction, and you find yourself obsessed with something that you want so badly but don’t know what your partner would think if they knew. Do you bring up the subject hoping your partner will respond in a positive way or keep things to yourself because you are afraid your partner will be freaked out by your desires? There are no easy answers to these questions, and for most of us who are older and actively kinky, […]

What is Sub Frenzy and Am I in Danger of Having it? 10 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

What Is Sub Frenzy, and Am I In Danger of Having It? When I started this post, it was with the intent to identify, explain, and inform people about a thing called sub frenzy. I accomplished what I intended, but as I often do, I expanded on my original idea. I tend to ramble, and in this case this post transformed into something that can be used as a guideline not only to those in danger of being in the grips of sub frenzy, but for submissives who are seeking an ethical dominant who really has their best interest at heart. Many, if not every submissive has experienced sub frenzy even if they don’t know what it’s called. Basically, sub-frenzy is the overwhelming need to experience submission. As a submissive, you will do anything to become someone’s submissive or feel that glorious feeling of being owned or under control, no […]

An Often Asked Question – How Would You Punish? 2 comments

This entry was posted in Ask Jolynn BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

This post has been removed. It is now contained in the book you see above which will be available on Amazon December 2nd, 2013. I apologize for any inconvenience, but I have chosen to combine some of my posts into a book on Domestic discipline. Blurb from Taken in Hand Jolynn Raymond has written a book that shares the details of her own long lasting domestic discipline marriage and her experience surrounding power exchange relationships. It explains why these unconventional relationships work so well for so many couples. The book is an in-depth tutorial that takes the relationship past the simple act of discipline, to building a rock solid foundation that will ultimately create a deep bond of trust and love between those involved. Taken In Hand will guide those interested in adding consensual domestic discipline, dominance and submission, and structure to their own relationship through the initial steps of communication, […]

Plan of Action 3 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

Those of you who read my post from yesterday are already up to date with my trials and tribulations, those who didn’t ought to read it before this one. Yesterday I was mopey. Could be menopause, could be work stress. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that writing down and sharing my issues has had a positive effect. 1. We are all human, yes, dominants too. Those of us who wield the power and make the decisions work hard in power exchange relationships. We are prone to mistakes and doubts just like anyone else. No one can have the strength and confidence it takes to be a good Mistress or Master 24/7/365. 2. As I always preach to you, communication is vital. Beauty and I somehow slipped away from our sit down talks every Saturday evening. This is a time to talk without boundaries or roles. Person to person, wife […]

What The Hell Happened Here?

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

If you look at my Fetlife profile it will say I live the lifestyle 24/7. 24/7 means different things to different people depending on the type of relationship they are in, but I think most of us have a healthy does of vanilla or the real world invading on our 24/7. What I mean is, the every day stressors of life such as work, family, and kids makes it necessary to step outside our kink zone whether we like it or not, and for me the stepping outside has made it hard to step back in where I belong. I live within the contexts of a kinky relationship. I make all the decisions, my wife defers to me in all things. Most of my social interactions are with our kinky friends. Our home is equipped with a dungeon, much of our travel is to kink events, the fetlife page is […]

Today’s Saturday Kink Post… Real BDSM Play Scenes

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Today’s Saturday post doubles as self promotion. I wanted to bring my real life kink books to the forefront, because though I have written about kink, my role in it, play, relationships, titles, and the reality of how I live in a BDSM lifestyle, I think these books can give insight that an informational post cannot. I spend much of my time advertising my historical romances, but thought my books of BDSM short stories deserved a post of their own to remind my readers that they too are worth reading, and can help one understand the emotional, physical, safe and sane aspects of true BDSM scenes. Sweet Agony is a collection of M/f BDSM scenes and Dark Obsessions is a collection of F/f BDSM scenes. Both are compiled of fetish play I have actually done, and go from fairly mild to pretty hardcore. They include many aspects of kinky fetishes such as impact play (breast, flogging, spanking, whipping, lashing, paddling, pussy punishment, […]

Stop and Think First 17 comments

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Stop and Think First This post is going to be of a serious nature, and I sincerely hope that those who read my blog only because of my books and not because they are kinky, give this post a few minutes of their time. I want to speak about the fear many people have of the things they don’t understand, and the pain caused by the bigotry their fear often manifests into. In the past few weeks two of my friends in the kink community have been outed by people who were in no way affected by these friend’s kinky lifestyle. In both cases the perpetrator came across my friends’ profiles on Fetlife, and in both cases, the outing of these individuals caused great harm. It hurt so much to witness the pain my friends had to go through, and it also made me mad as hell, so I am going to address a few points here. First, just […]

From The Mailbag 2 comments

This entry was posted in Ask Jolynn BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives From the Mailbag Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

From The Mailbag I received the following question from Chris, and thought it would make a good topic for my Saturday post. hi my name is chris, my gf likes pain and the whole bdsm concept, but im not sure on how to go about fulfilling that fantasy of hers. do u have any inexpensive (or slightly more expensive) tricks to spice things up in the bedroom? The first thing that is of importance is whether she finds the pain AND the power exchange appealing or if she just finds getting spanked delicious. Your approach to fulfilling her fantasy depends on what she finds fantasy worthy. As always, I advise that communicating is what should happen first. Find out if she likes the idea of you being the disciplinarian. The stern figure who will punish her because she really needs it and craves the control, or if she likes funishment spankings or […]

What’s In My Dungeon?

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Today I am going to address what’s in our play space here at home. Many of the things are simply geared towards my needs as a dominant/top/sadist, some are must haves, and then I am going to add a wish list and a list of things other tops or bottoms might find indispensable. Furniture A St Andrew’s Cross. This is my favorite piece. Ours is secured to the ceiling and is set about a foot and a half from the wall instead of being up against it. This allows me to move in front of Beauty if she is facing the wall. I can check in on her, give her water from a bottle with a straw, as well as have frontal access to her clit. I normally start with her facing outward so I can flog and cane her breasts, and flog between her legs, then turn her so I have full access […]