BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives


Let My Kinky Freedom Ring! 1 comment

    Let My Kinky Freedom Ring Today is the day we celebrate the birth of freedom in our country, and it’s finally time for me to celebrate new freedoms too. I have gained the liberty to express my sexuality as well as the freedom to be kinky, and boy does it feel good. I have retired, and we are moving to Florida, where the fetish clubs are licensed, and the views are more liberal. Self-censorship was hard. I smothered myself and my wife because I needed to toe the line and present myself as an upstanding vanilla do-gooder, to conform to the morality clause in the contract that governed me for 31 years. Now there is no need to hide the fact that I am a lesbian who is extremely kinky and writes books that contain kinky smut, BDSM, and how to domesticate and discipline your wife. I can […]


As One Door Closes 2 comments

    As One Door Closes   Something happened last Thursday. It was a monumental change in my life that I have been waiting for. I can’t believe the day finally arrived. I mean, it seems like yesterday when I began the journey, but now that time in my life has arrived, I’m a bit stunned. The door has closed on that chapter of my life, never to be gone through again. I couldn’t be happier, even though Beauty had to comfort me when I started sobbing at some ridiculous thing on the TV the evening of the big change. I mean I am happy! Hell yes, but change is hard. I have closed the door on my career of 31 years. It was a big part of me. I’m free to be Jolynn Raymond the Mistress and writer. The chains of my working self have come off, and I […]


Why The Shame for Hard Limits? 1 comment

Why the Shame for Hard Limits? In the kink community, a limit is something you will not agree to in a BDSM interaction, and no responsible dominant or submissive should ever skip the conversation about what are serious limits when getting to know each other or planning to play. Limits are more than important, they are what define the edge of a person’s cravings and tolerance for BDSM play and roles. The concept of limits gets tossed around in the kink community all the time. Some dominants seem to think pushing past a submissive’s limits is akin to a challenge, and submissives often feel shame or a loss of value for what they won’t agree to do. Both are troubling to me. It doesn’t matter why something is a limit, and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself. If it makes you say no, it’s the end of conversation unless you […]


We’ve Got Friends in Low Places 5 comments

  We’ve Got Friends in Low Places On Sept. 23rd of 2017, I will be officially retired from 30 years in my career or ‘regular’ job, and will become a writer and kink educator full time. I counted the days, really I did. I brought up the calendar and sat like a kid counting the days left before Christmas, because my retirement will be like Christmas, a birthday, summer vacation, and spring break rolled up into a spectacular day to celebrate. It isn’t that I hate my job, I just am ready to be done after 30 years. It’s time to move onto other interests and write full time, so 09/23/2017 is D-day. Along with my retirement will come a move to another state with a milder climate. Wisconsin gets way to cold, and frankly Beauty and I have had enough of the snow. We’ve also had enough of the […]


If the Bra Fits, by all Means, Wear it! Thanks Livi Rae #LiviRaeLingerie 1 comment

If the Bra Fits, by all Means, Wear it! Thanks Livi Rae Awhile back there was a TV program called Double Divas that featured two gals who own a lingerie store in Atlanta. Now considering the content and a title like that it could very easily been a show that was like so many reality TV shows today. The thing is, it wasn’t at all, and that’s why we were hooked right away. My goal as a sex and kink blogger has always been to educate not titillate, and these gals do the same. They work their asses off providing help for women of all sizes find bras and other pretty things. That may not seem like a hard thing to do, but as a woman who strives to embrace her curves, Molly and Cynthia of Livi Rae, the women who put the Divas in Double Divas, provide a much-needed […]


Consent, Age, and Personal Views

 Consent, Age, and Personal Views As most of us who are active in kink know, consent is EVERYTHING! I do not touch or become dominant towards anyone who has not verbally invited me to, has answered the question “Where can’t I touch you?” and has given consent to use a specified implement or have a play session involving X, Y, and Z. I also review the color system for play meaning green for keep going or more, yellow for I’m reaching the top of my tolerance, and red for stop right this second. In my book, only those who are able to make that sort of decision can only give consent. Be it a young age, a lack of being able to communicate because of a language barrier, being incapacitate by drugs or alcohol, not being human, still being in subspace from previous play, or not being able to repeat […]


24/7 vs. the Real World 7 comments

24/7 vs. the Real World   In this corner (pan to your right) we have the most magnificent leather clad Mistress, who can dominate her submissive with a single glance. And in this corner, (pan to your left) we have the somewhat harried looking, stressed out, and exhausted woman who just started a new job in the ‘real world’ and feels like she doesn’t have a dominant bone in her body, and doesn’t care to have one. Who will win this battle of strength/exhaustion, or will the two contenders find a way to merge their split personalities? Seriously, though, I feel like I’m torn in in half and must say goodbye to my dominant half because my new job has me crazy busy and completely exhausted 24/7 rather than being the dominant I want and need to be 24/7. Let me add a disclaimer that Beauty does not need to […]


Seriously? Kinky People Use Special Manners? 2 comments

Seriously? Kinky People Use Special Manners? by Jolynn Raymond Consider this a public service announcement on etiquette. I know I have written on the subject of what newbies into kink need to know, and I also know I’ve mentioned manners, but as new people arrive in my kink community every day, this needs to be addressed so those who are not in the know can be enlightened. If you’re poking around on Fetlife or Collarspace (<— Not a good place), you need manners even though those you meet on Collarspace may very well not be who they say. Collarspace is not a great go to place to meet real people into kink. Sorry, I could regress for hours on that evil. What I want you to know is: When approaching a woman on the internet be they a submissive or a dominant. DON’T hit on them with purely sexual emails, […]


Bullying Isn’t Just a Kid’s Sport 8 comments

Bullying Isn’t Just a Kid’s Sport Do you remember that kid when you were little, the one everyone avoided because if you caught his or her eye it meant impending doom? Maybe you were witness to or experienced first-hand the group of mean girls who thought they were better than everyone else was, and made life hell for the nerdy, shy people. What about the big kid who teases or beats up those weaker day after day, did you know him? Then there is the stereotypical group of jocks who stuff the loner or geek in his locker. I know, that particular act of bullying happens more often than not in the movies instead of real life, but it is an unfortunate reality that bullies exist, and there are a lot of people who can vouch for the cruelties of them. All of the above are profiles of bullies, but […]