Getting On My Soap Box


Why The Shame for Hard Limits? 1 comment

Why the Shame for Hard Limits? In the kink community, a limit is something you will not agree to in a BDSM interaction, and no responsible dominant or submissive should ever skip the conversation about what are serious limits when getting to know each other or planning to play. Limits are more than important, they are what define the edge of a person’s cravings and tolerance for BDSM play and roles. The concept of limits gets tossed around in the kink community all the time. Some dominants seem to think pushing past a submissive’s limits is akin to a challenge, and submissives often feel shame or a loss of value for what they won’t agree to do. Both are troubling to me. It doesn’t matter why something is a limit, and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself. If it makes you say no, it’s the end of conversation unless you […]


Sit Down, Shut Up, and Pass the Pumpkin Pie 3 comments

Sit Down, Shut Up, and Pass the Pumpkin Pie And so another holiday season is upon us. It seems like yesterday that I was writing my Christmas post. Time marches at a steady pace, sometimes seemingly with wings, as we zip through our lives, just working to get each day taken care of. We are a nation that has the speed limit pushed to the max. There never seems to be time for family. I am guilty of this. Each week it’s hurry, hurry, and the weekend is sit and work, sit and work. But then comes the time of year that is meant to be spent with family. Oh, there are other holidays where we sit down and share the love, but not like the months between late October and the start of a new year. This is the time we set aside each year and see those we […]


My Love is Not About You #SameSexCouples 37 comments

Beauty’s Picture To Me My Love is Not About You   Yesterday Joelle Casteel did a post that spoke about forcing our kink on others and people being accepting of what and who we are. I want to address the issue of public affection and how it’s okay for some people and very much not okay for others. Yes, that is my soapbox you hear being moved into position. So the thing that brought all this firestorm on the internet was the fact that a woman was walking her naked submissive on a leash in public. Folks chimed in from all sectors about the propriety of their actions. Some felt it was okay, but a large majority, myself included, felt that they had no business doing such a thing. The actions definitely fell under the umbrella of forcing their kink on others who did not give consent. Then the subject of […]