BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives


Change Is A Four Letter Word 31 comments

Change Is A Four Letter Word {Written by Jolynn Raymond} Change is just a word, but it can mean many different things to people. Some of us hate it, and some embrace it. I am one of the haters. Change does more than annoy me, it gives me anxiety, makes my head spin with the uncertainty of it, and is just plain unwelcome in my life. Perhaps it’s the dominant in me who must always be in control speaking up, or the memories of bad changes in my past keeping me from wanting to move forward. Either way, telling me there must be big changes in my life is a sure way to receive a nasty glare. I am well aware that there have been and will be great changes that come along. Meeting my soon to be all the way wife, Beauty, snowballed into a wonderful and life altering […]


The Power of A Whisper #Genderfluid 3 comments

Due to an ugly incident in a Facebook group, I have decided to repost the article I wrote for the Hop Against Homophobia. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, gender fluid, transsexual, and many more. The point is people who feel one gender, but their body is another should be respected. It is their choice, their feelings, their decision. I do not know the pain of feeling I am in the wrong body. Whether one cross dresses, presents themselves as male or female with parts that don’t match, love persons of the same sex, or are brave enough and have the resources to change their body to match who they are, it is their right to state and request how they wish to be addressed. I would never use the male name of a friend who lives as a female. I would never tell someone that they can go […]


This Is How I Poly. ~ Guest Post by Jack 5 comments

This Is How I Poly. Guest Post by Jack aka Tamed @Jack_of_hearts7 There are certain ideas, certain concepts that I have long wanted to communicate clearly and concisely to partners, potential partners, lovers, FWBs, or people that I have complex relationships with that I do not have a name for. Sometimes though, I find myself, for whatever reason, unable to clearly articulate them. I may make additions to this list as it occurs to me to do so. In no particular order of importance… Point the First: I don’t place my relationships on a hierarchy. It is true, I am married and rather happily so. And sometimes the people I am involved with naturally assume that means that my spouse will always “out rank” them in terms of importance in my life. That is not true. While he is my “primary” partner, “primary” in this instance means that my life […]


The Fun, the Serious, and the In Between in BDSM 35 comments

The Fun, the Serious, and the In Between in BDSM Those who follow my posts on BDSM know that there are some things that make me very serious, in fact, the majority of my teachings contain little humor, but that isn’t true for everything. I love to laugh. Who doesn’t? They say laughter is good for any number things, and it can actually boost your metabolism. I guess if I want to lose my excessive curves I need to sit and laugh from morning until night. That would be such fun, but the day job won’t allow for it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find humor in my kinky lifestyle. Even so, we are going to begin with the serious, and work our way to the fun so I can leave you smiling. The Serious – Ethics – Though I can be a happy caring sadist, I do my […]


Still Kinky After All These Years 48 comments

Lady Taya and Jud – {Not Jolynn in the picture} Disclaimer: The story below sprang forth from a dinner conversation. We have not attended the BDSM Writers Con. That adventure happens this summer. I am choosing that particular venue because we are strangers there, and have discussed the fact that the DMs will need to be spoken to. Still Kinky After All These Years We have an old guy. I’ve written about him before because he is such an important part of our lives. He’s part friend, part counsel to the Queen, part play partner, and all family. He’s our Loyal Lesbian, our occasional chauffeur, someone we laugh with, go places with, and worry about. He’s getting up there in years and has a wealth of information and life stories jam packed inside that grey haired head. Someday he and I are going to sit down and write his biography […]


Jack’s Guide to Doin’ the Sexorz Like A Boss #SexGuide

Jack’s Guide to Doin’ the Sexorz Like A Boss by Jack @Jack_of_hearts7 I see a lot of “guides” floating around the Fetsphere on how to improve one’s sexual technique. Generally these things focus on oral sex (either blow jobs or cunnilingus), and they’re typically, but not always, written by men. Some of them are helpful, and some of them are about as useful as tits on a bull. Generally though, they’re very heteronormative. These are just things I like to focus on as a queer person. Even if you’ve slept with a person with similar anatomy before, not everyone’s body works the same way, and not everyone likes the same sensation. This is SO important. I’ve seen other “guides” mention that not all women are the same. Kudos on that to the people who have written those, because it’s true. But NOBODY’S body works exactly the same way as another person’s. […]


DJing at Kink Events by Spike72

DJing at Kink Events by Spike72 It’s no secret that I have been Djing and MCing at quite a few kinky events over the past few years: Madtown Kinkfest, Grind, the on-hiatus ForPlay, Kinky Kollege, and recently Sabbat de Sade. Hell, I even hosted “kinky karaoke” at Twisted Tryst once. DJing is my chosen profession now, and honestly, even with the slow growth my business has been having I have been pleasantly satisfied at the amount of exposure and gigs I’ve been getting. I think I’m ok at what I do; I still have some learning to do, but that means I can only go up from here. DJing at kink events is its own reward for the most part, because like other members of a kink-con staff I donate my time, equipment and talent. Just like any gig, I am aware that not everyone is going to appreciate the […]


What Fifty Shades Doesn’t Tell You #Beyond50 52 comments

What Fifty Shades Doesn’t Tell You The Local Dungeon – If there is a local dungeon where you live, don’t expect to be invited there until people get to know you at a munch or class. For many of us our kink life is a huge secret, one that would cause havoc in our lives if exposed. Some places have a more public play space where you have to sign up to be a member, or an event where you just have to buy a ticket and register, but these aren’t an everyday thing nor are they located for the most part in smaller cities. If you want in to the private parties, go to munches and make friends so people grow to trust you. No one sets foot in my house until I feel they are safe. The D/s Factor – When you venture into the kink community whether […]


Top Ten Things To Know About Kink #BDSM 4 comments

Top Ten Things to Know About Kink If you are of the type who doesn’t want to read up about being kinky, go to classes and events so you can learn hands on, or connect with other kinky people so you can learn kink etiquette, then I frown at you. Learning is VERY important, but I digress. If you take time for nothing else, remember my top ten things all people who are interested in kink and BDSM should know. Any kink or BDSM play is okay as long as everyone consents. You must have full consent by everyone involved. Consent cannot be given by children, animals, and random people in the community who happen upon your public scene. If it involves anyone in that last sentence then your kink is NOT okay. Hurting people who want to be hurt is okay. Tying people up who want to be tied […]