BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives

Why Dominant? 3 comments

This entry was posted in Ask Jolynn BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

Here is the post I promised those who have been following my informative yet kinky Saturday BDSM posts. I want to address the whys of dominance while at the same time hopefully answer some questions people who are just starting out might have. I’m also speaking about dominance because the poll showed that dominance and submission were the most wanted topics. As I’ve said before, when I first started to realize that the thoughts I was having about punishment and spanking were shared by others, I thought I was submissive. I think it had something to do with the fact that I wanted to be on the receiving end and therefore couldn’t be in the dominant role. The fact that I was always the person in control in my romantic relationships didn’t occur to me. My boyfriends weren’t meek or anything, they just wanted to please me, and I have […]

Equality Not Dominance

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

I had planned on writing about dominance, it’s something that is a very part of me. It effect my relationships, it makes me feel settled, it’s both who and what I am. The thing is, even with all that, it pales in comparison with my desire to be equal. I make all the decisions in my home and in my marriage, yes I said marriage, but it’s that very thing that I cannot control and it hurts in a way I can’t really describe. I love my wife. I cherish her, promise to be faithful, promise to be by her side in good times and bad. We said the words in front of our friends, exchanged rings, did a sand ceremony, and then I also collared her. It was an incredible day and event that joined us forever, but our joining has a big hole. Now Beauty is my wife […]

Fetishes, Kinks, and Desires, Oh My! 2 comments

This entry was posted in Ask Jolynn BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

Fetishes, Kinks, and Desires, Oh My! What do all those fetish terms mean and do people really do that? Oh yes, yes they do, and they have a lot of fun. Whether it’s an activity, a relationship role, a toy, or something that feeds the pleasure center of their brains and fulfills a fantasy, people do all sorts of things to capture that feeling that makes their body come alive. Some may seem very strange, some may make you cringe, some make you feel disgusted, but to someone else it spells out pleasure. In the kink community, we try not to judge. Just because your fetish makes me squeamish or makes me say “No way would I do that!”, as long as all who participate do it with consent and are of legal age, then it isn’t my right to bash it. We are unique, and so are our fetishes […]

The Act of Collaring 3 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

Beauty’s Collar and Wedding Ring The Act of Collaring The act of collaring one’s submissive or slave has many variations to some, and only one true way to others. Whether you find yourself in the meet today, collar tomorrow crowd, or the collaring is very serious business crowd, it is a subject and act that can spawn much debate. As always, my views are simply my views, expressed in a way that will hopefully educate and enlighten my readers. Your mileage may vary, in fact it should to some extent because the act of collaring is a very personal one. When I met my wife Beauty, I’d had several long term M/s relationships prior to her, but I never collared any of those ladies. While it’s true, they had a play collar worn during kinky play and jewelry that was special because it represented our relationship, they never received a collar. To […]

Something from the Mailbag

This entry was posted in Ask Jolynn BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

Something from the Mailbag I have a question from Jean about BDSM. I decided to post this here so more of you would see it. I also want to encourage others to go ahead and ask if you have something on your mind. Jean asks: My question is about my past few experiences with my husband involving bdsm. The first experience I pretty much did what he required of me. Without having done any real reading about it, it remained loving and disciplined. On to the next I experienced a very real desire to test him openly. Breaking rules, etc. It was very easy for me to realize that in my mind, it was a mind game. I felt I was getting what I wanted in the first place and that these rules were not sufficient. So, I egged him on. If a rule was made, it became my next […]

What’s In a Name? An Explanation of BDSM Roles 18 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

  What’s In a Name? An Explanation of BDSM Roles The roles I will be writing about today are based on my understanding of them. Others may have different views. I am in no way trying to wave my flag of experience and shout “These are the exact definition”. I am speaking of how I interpret them after witnessing many relationships in the BDSM community. Your mileage may vary. My explanations today are leaning towards basic definitions. We will get deeper into the intricacies of the different power exchange relationships in another Saturday post. I am also in no way passing any judgement on any of the roles. I am very supportive of other’s kink even if I do not understand it, practice it in my own relationships, or find it exciting, as long as it takes place between consenting adults and is done safely. Most of these roles take […]

We Are Ethical 2 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond on by (updated on )

We Are Ethical If you came for the books and are disturbed by BDSM, by all means, skip this post! I thought a bit about this blog post before deciding to go ahead and do it. It’s not that I am ashamed in any way shape or form about my sexuality and kinky lifestyle, it’s because as a rule, I don’t think it’s okay to shove BDSM down the throat of those who would feel offended by it. That said, my involvement in BDSM isn’t exactly hidden on here, so I decided to choose the road that might lead to a better understanding of who we are. That popular book, you know the one, has a lot of misconceptions. For one, there isn’t a huge percentage of us who come from dark or abusive backgrounds or have hidden traumas, at least not more than the regular population. We aren’t immoral, […]