While we have had several other Daddy/babygirl posts, the subject seems to be popular, and I have had a number of quality guest posts offered up by those who practice this lifestyle, therefore I feel it is important to post all of them. I hope this post will offer even more insight into this kind of relationship.
The Daddy/Babygirl relationship style is becoming more popular, but is frequently misunderstood in the alternative sexuality community. Just like any relationship, the specifics are often different between couples, but I’ll tell you a little bit about me and my relationships.
I am a Daddy Dominant. By being a Daddy, I take a protecting, nurturing, caring, guiding, and disciplining role in relationships. This makes me feel satisfied and happy. The Dominant part means that I largely shape or guide the relationship, offer the options, and am in control. One of the most important traits for a Daddy is consistency with behaviors, expectations, and consequences. The Daddy role has nothing to do with “sugar daddies,” isn’t reflective on actual family members, and has nothing to do with incest. Daddies do not need to be male. Biological age also is not a factor. Babygirls can be older than their Daddies or vice versa.
I try to work and encourage my babygirls in positive ways. I try to take a positive outlook and help my babygirl along in life, helping her develop skills and fostering personal growth. One of the things that I like about this type of relationship is working together on a tasks or goals. I helped one of my babygirls go back to school and getting her Master’s degree, a very positive process for her. Others simply need holding, cuddling, and the reassurance that everything was all right. These sorts of tasks also develop and hone my own skills as well. Some little girls need boundaries and consequences to help them master everyday life and for personal growth.
Babygirls can also be called girls or little girls as well. Babygirls often incorporate elements of ageplay into their relationships, but don’t necessarily act like babies, but rather girls of any younger age. Babygirls tend to act innocent, naive, and submissive. Confusingly, girls or little girls can also be nicknamed “Babygirl” or “Babydoll,” even if not ageplaying. Little girls do not need to be female. Often, sissified males can be babygirls as well.
Some girls prefer to dress in more typically younger girl clothes, wear their hair in pigtails or ponytails, and color with coloring books. Others choose to display more youthful emotions and enthusiasm. Others still don’t choose to act or dress younger, but simply prefer the relationship dynamic and style of daddy/girl. Little girls can also be bratty, naughty, or sassy at times to contribute energy to the scene or dynamic. Babygirls enjoy their role and having a Daddy not because of their own personal baggage or attraction to their actual father, but because of the manner that the two partners interact. It is important for little girls to also be intuitive about daddy and the energy he has.
Daddy/girl relationships often are softer and less formal than other types of power differential relationships. They are focused on growth, are positive-oriented, and improvement for both partners. They can be focused on creating bonds and often use ritual to establish patterns. One example of this can be a welcoming ritual for both partners, or a ritualized call and response, such as “Who’s my baby?” &“I am Daddy!”
Many Daddy/girl relationships use ageplay, age-related roleplaying. This is the style that I prefer. However, a sizable minority do not. Instead they enjoy the feel, meaning, and manner of the dynamic and roles without changing ages. Regardless of ageplay or not, there is a great deal of interaction between the partners. This back and forth between the partners requires two people to be aware of the other person’s actions, emotions, and intent. Perhaps one facet that draws people is the amount of attentiveness to each other that makes Daddy/girl relationships enjoyable and rewarding.
Many Daddy/girl relationships incorporate sexual aspects. Usually Daddies initiate sexual encounters, however, there are many ways that little girls can show interest or start sexual encounters as well. While most Daddy/girl relationships have sexual aspects, whatever works for you and your partner is the right way to have a Daddy/girl relationship.
Like many power differential relationships, Daddy/girl relationships have a division of tasks. Each party cares for and helps out the other. Daddies often plan, offer options, discipline, and organize outings or life tasks. Little girls tend to be responsible for joy and emotions within the relationship. They also tend to be responsible for having or making the fun in a relationship. Since the Daddy is usually in control, there is also a caregiver burden or fatigue that needs to be factored in. The little girl expressing adoration, love, and giving back or helping in different ways is also important to both parties and helps fight this fatigue.
This type of relationships needs the proper level of dependency in order to remain healthy. As with any relationship, some level of interdependence usually desirable as people want to meld and merge their lives together to an extent. However, sometimes there can be a tendency to be codependent or to create a further level of dependency in the a partner. Both partners need to remain vigilant to make sure that levels of dependence and interdependence remain at healthy levels.
As a Daddy, I keep my little girl feeling vulnerable, protected, and with me in control. One way that I do that is by treating her like a child when we go out. She doesn’t have her phone, wallet, or keys. If she needs an ID, or something, I put it in my pocket. I usually drive, open and close the car door, and buckle her seat belt for her, giving her a kiss in the process. We also hold hands when we are out, sometimes just the two smallest fingers, to emphasize the roles. Being asked to provide help, like reaching tall things, ordering food, talking or asking questions for the little, or changing windshield wipers when she is perfectly capable of figuring it out for herself makes me feel useful and needed. Little girls need to make Daddies feel powerful, big, protective, needed, and in control.
The deep emotional intimacy that Daddy/girls have also present some more difficult issues with Daddy/girl relationships. Jealousy is often one issue. A little girl can be very often possessive of her Daddy. This may present some difficulties with poly relationships. Additionally, some people see the titles of Daddy and girl as sacred, while others see them as general forms of address, like Sir. When Daddy/girl relationships end, there seems to be more difficulties than in other styles of relationships. There can be feelings of abandonment, almost like parental figure loss or the rejection when a child leaves their parent, in addition to the usual emotions of a break-up.
Overall, Daddy/babygirl relationships are close, intimate, fun and structured. They require balance, emotions, dedication, and mutual work. Like other relationship types, they take a support and communication, but are definitely worth it and rewarding.
Paul Rulof aka RuleOfThree, has been part of the alternative sexuality community for over 10 years, largely focused on promoting and educating about ageplay. During that time, he has engaged in many different activities that have helped hundreds of people learn about, explore, problem-solve, and think about their interests in ageplay.
He has started and contributed to many different ageplay projects. He founded the Chicago Age Players, a group now with over 550 members, the monthly Chicago Age Play munch get-together, Chicago Age Play parties, outings, and CAPCon: The Midwest Ageplay Convention. He has also assisted with the organization and running of the US Littles convention, served as Chair and Education Director of CAPCon, was the Chairperson of the Chicago Age Players, assists perspective convention organizers, consulted on documentaries, assisted the media to find ageplay subjects, written guest columns, and the non-fiction book “Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas.” http://tr.im/4sjbk
He also lectures across the country, as well as internationally, largely about ageplay, mental play, and ageplay relationship dynamics. He has presented ageplay topics at 27 different alternative sexuality conferences, clubs, and events all across the US. This includes addressing ageplay at CARAS, an alternative sexuality academic conference for professionals including health care workers and mental health professionals. He has also recorded an ageplay class for KinkAcademy.com for online dissemination. He has also served as an expert witness on ageplay for the Texas Supreme Court.
He has appeared on several podcasts discussing ageplay, including the Big Little Podcast twice, once as a panel member on the topic of community leadership and the other regarding ageplay conventions. He also guides and mentors many different individuals and couples, has created ageplay surveys, conducted ageplay interviews, as well as answers ageplay questions.
He has also the author of “Power Over Pleasure: A Training Program for Female Orgasm by Vocal Command” and the forthcoming “Emotional Play Handbook: Using Negative Emotions for Better Sex”. His next project is orchestrating a Daddy/girl relationship dynamic weekend long workshop for people who live an ageplay relationship lifestyle along with a companion book.
You can also visit him on Fetlife here – https://fetlife.com/users/16544