Joelle Casteel wrote a really good post yesterday on her blog. It’s titled Who is to judge if I’m non-consensually forcing my kink on others? She makes a lot of good points on multiple subjects in one post. In my post, I am mostly focusing on my ability to show affection to the person that I love in public, without people frowning at me or flipping their shit. We’ve had guys ogle us like the dude in the picture, which is their deal I guess. They’re not going to luck out and get to be in the middle, and go home with us to live out their fantasy in the bed though.
Here is my comment on Joelle’s post on her blog:
With Jolynn and I, we don’t even hold hands or kiss when we are out with the general public. I’ve seen people, some being guys, frown at us. Or you get the other reaction, where the guy walking towards us, is blushing, and his face and neck is all red. I’ve had that reaction with it just being me, and my wearing my collar when I am shopping or doing wherever. We are both short, curvy, and busty with long hair besides being feminine so it’s not like someone will have to bleach their eyeballs after they see us kiss or hold hands. Would I like people to get over themselves and just let us enjoy our time out trotting around? That would be fantastic. The only times we can really be ourselves is at the house or out at a kink event with other kinksters.
Here are some other posts by Jolynn and myself on being a same sex couple, along with the joys and troubles of being one.
{If I find more posts I will add them at another time to the links below.}
The Ignorance of Gender Intolerance
Let Freedom Ring – Same Sex Marriage in Wisconsin
Joelle Casteel – Author of BDSM Erotica: Who is to judge if I’m non-consensually forcing my kink on others? – http://t.co/0NQaPMEQWl
— Beautys Punishment (@YourPunishments) August 8, 2014
I think my irritation comes from the fact that there is even a problem. I can’t control how others think though it would be nice at times (insert evil laugh), but the fact that people get their undies in a bundle because of a quick kiss is IMO pretty outrageous. We hold hands in public when places are crowded, and really don’t display much public affection. I do call her honey all the time though, and with sales people be it small items or cars, they know better than to make a face. I know we don’t deal with as much bigotry as gay men do, but haven’t we come far enough into the days of enlightened society for all people to be accepted?
yeah, why notice? why have response? why comment? I admit, I’m bad about being irritated at male/female couples- but for me, it’s a “they can do what I can’t.” Heck, I’m in primary relationship with a male bodied person and I still have issues in public. And yeah, even a quick kiss on the cheek can be risky for a same gender couple, depending on where it is. yes, haven’t we come far enough? Good question. In a way, I don’t think society really has. sure, in my “kink as identity” post, I talked about interracial marriage as a problem in the past, but I know while there’s no legal defense, interracial couples (even male/female ones) still face discrimination in some places
After all Jolynn’s tech struggles to comment on my blog last night, I’m so glad you both have her blog to carry on the conversations. Great posts that you gave the links to 🙂 It’s a good thought though- you and Jolynn shouldn’t have to worry about people losing their minds if you were to give each other a quick kiss or hold hands. Back to my “Shaman looks 44 and I don’t look 36” as I shared in my replies last night, we’ve had people give Him dirty looks for merely kissing me on the cheek- for a straight white guy who’s less used to being judged since He’s not often visibly different, it was a learning experience for Him the first time it happened