The picture above was taken at a ceremony that joined Beauty and I in marriage and in a D/s relationship where I placed a collar around her neck, showing my promise to hold and keep her, putting her first above all others for the rest if our lives. What it did not do, is legally marry us. We said the words from our hearts. We made promises of love and respect for each other in a ceremony full of vows and traditions, but though our friends and family recognized our union as marriage, we could not by law be wife and wife.
I was born and raised in Wisconsin. It’s a beautiful state which contains one of my favorite place on Earth even though I’ve traveled all over the world. I truly do love my state despite the cold and snow and a governor who is a power hungry narrow minded bigot. We have lakes and lush landscapes, small towns full of hidden treasures, quiet places to retreat to, as well as great kink communities full of open minded accepting people.
The things above speak positively for Wisconsin, but there has been one glaring wrong amid all of the rights. Despite being surround by states that have recognized the right of same sex couples to marry, Wisconsin has steadfastly not. Those in Madison have held the belief that marriage is a right only heterosexual couples can have. They have kept those of us who love someone different than the cookie cutter ideal of marriage between one man and one woman, from making the deepest of commitment. They believe we will taint the sanctity of marriage. We will cast a dark sinful shadow with our deviant relationships. We should not be allowed to be join for life to a partner of the same sex. Gasp, how very immoral of us. We will ruin all that marriage stands for with our disgusting desire.
We have been allowed to be domestic partners, and that label has granted us some rights, but it also shoved us in the back corner of the room and hid us under the rug like a shameful thing. I can’t count how many times I have had to explain that I’m sort of married. They don’t have a box for us to check on the many forms one fills out as we go about our daily lives. It’s like they dangle the carrot before us and have even have allowed us a bite, but giving us the whole thing to eat is out of the question. Those people who love the ‘wrong’ person can have some legal protection, but no, no, no, they can’t have the right to be married. Not when they want to be with someone who isn’t the opposite sex.
Despite all that, despite their hard work to keep us from having equal rights, their days of suppression are coming to a close. Though the right wings has steadfastly opposed our unions, made derogatory remarks, fought against our right to be free to love AND marry the person we wish to spend out life with, a federal judge has declared their suppression of same sex marriage in Wisconsin is unconstitutional. Yesterday a judge who isn’t narrow minded and bigoted ruled that the ban violates our rights as people who live in a country based on freedom.
So listen up all you sanctimonious narrow minded people, your days of trampling our rights is coming to an end. Marriage is about love. It’s about being able to stand before all and say this is my life partner. We have been through thick and thin. We have traveled the road of for better or worse. We have stayed by our partner’s side in sickness and in health, we have told them we shall be with them til death do us part, and now we have gained the right to declare our promises and commitment.
Not long after the ruling Attorney General J.B. Van Hollen, a Republican, said that “current law remains in force” in Wisconsin. He took immediate action to try and halt the surge of gay couples seeking to wed, but that hasn’t stopped those who have been made to accept having our significant other labeled a domestic partner instead of a husband or wife.
I know the fight isn’t quite over yet, but a major battle has been won. It does my heart good to see all the happy gay and lesbian couples standing proud in celebration and going forth immediately to finally grab their right to be married. I too have thought of rushing Beauty down to the courthouse and sealing our bond completely, but there are still things in place that hold me back, but that won’t be for long. I must deal with the moral ideals of my workplace. Yes there are law that make it illegal to fire me because I am a lesbian, but despite the law I need to remain silent. That in no way is a cop out. I get on my soapbox here speaking for tolerance and the end of bigotry all the time, but the sad fact is that I would lose the trust and respect of some that I work with and serve. Jolynn Raymond is free, my other public self is not, so I will hold off on a trip to see the judge and say “I do” today. I will wait until the media with their cameras go away so Beauty and I aren’t on the news doing what it is now our right to do. It’s a shame, but I know it’s best.
In the meantime I will pose this question to the love of my life. “Beauty will you marry me?”