Being Her Daddy/ Being His Babygirl
This is the second in the series of guest posts that we will be doing on this blog every Thursday. John Brownstone and his babygirl Kayla explain how their dynamic works in a Daddy/ little girl relationship. I originally got the idea of doing guest posts from reading John’s article below from his blog, and asked Kayla if she could write a companion piece to go along with it. While last week’s post by RWE focused on his roll of Daddy, this piece tells both sides. Comments are encouraged, discussion is fabulous, anything bordering on rude will be deleted. Please respect the dynamic these two people have chosen for themselves. Have an open mind, learn something new, and help spread the word about the very positive relationships and aspects of BDSM.
On Being Her Daddy
I want to start out right from the beginning and tell you what being her Daddy is not: I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in age play. She does not wear diapers, she does not pretend to be a little girl, there is no, I repeat NO interest in pedophilia by either of us in any way shape or form.
Whatever you call her babygirl, little one, kitten, princess, or any other name you may have for her there is a lot that goes with a DD (Daddy Dom)/lg relationship.
When I first met Kayla we worked on being friends, one thing I noticed about her and this came from her having to be responsible from a young age was that she didn’t laugh much; she didn’t play much.
Now I will say she was also bearing many responsibilities and even though she didn’t think so at the time she was handling them all quite well; family, work, children, and her home.
Now as I got to know her and this is something that happens quite a bit in vanilla relationships is that people want to change you. If you want to change them then you don’t love them for who they are. So many times I hear someone say, “I want to tame him or her.”
I want nothing to do with that, love them for their wild side if that is not what you want then look for someone who doesn’t have that wild side. Love them for who they are!
I digress though!
What I do bring to the table, as her Daddy is I give her the opportunity to let go of that responsibility for a time. I bear the load for her. I allow her to let her guard down.
When she is in her “little” side she is playful, she laughs and smiles. There is a certain sparkle in her eyes that isn’t there when she is taking care of her daily duties.
One time during one of my visit’s we were lying in bed together and I rolled over and pinned her underneath me, I began tickling her. Her laughter was like music to my ears. Then she began fighting back and she soon was tickling me back. We carried on like this for some time till we were both exhausted and out of breathe.
She let her hair down, she laughed and most of all she had fun. We both did!
When she has had a rough day I am there to welcome her with open arms, letting her snuggle up in my lap while I softly stroke her hair and holding her.
It is times like these that I will tell her to go put on her Hello Kitty PJ’s and put her hair up in pigtails. For her that is a sign, a signal that it will be all right, that she can let go of it all. Take down the walls that she faces the rest of the world with. There is no need for pretensions with me.
Yes, there are times we curl up on the sofa and watch Disney movies. It is just one more way to allow her to let go and open up.
Also I am there to watch out for her as best I can. There are times she doesn’t get enough sleep as she is always on the go. While I haven’t had to give her a set bedtime if things to get off track and she is too tired I will make sure she gets to bed earlier. I make sure she takes certain vitamins that will help with her stressful job and that she picks good food choices.
Yes, she also has Mr. Teddy as well. It was on my second visit to see her that I found Mr. Teddy. Since I couldn’t be there all the time with her I decided to find Mr. Teddy. We went on a shopping hunt, we hit 3 or 4 stores till I found him. Once we took Mr. Teddy home we had a long talk him and I. See it is his job to look out for her when I can’t be there. He is there for her to hug, for her to snuggle next to, and there for her to talk to in those moments I can’t.
Another thing that goes on in our dynamic is that I see her potential better than she does herself. It goes with the old adage that we are our own worst critics. I see what she is capable of and if guided what she can achieve.
I nurture that! I guide her and offer her support to take the steps to reach her full potential. One day when we were talking on the phone she talked of how she wanted to write. She felt like she had a story to tell. I told her that I would support her and help her in any way I could. She now has three self-published books.
See what it comes down to is I don’t want a grown woman that acts like a little child. I want a woman that feels safe enough with me to be able to let her hair down when she needs to and open up. I want a woman who isn’t afraid to let her inner child out to play and have fun at times. I want a woman who isn’t afraid to show me her vulnerable side and know that it is safe in my hands.
When we go to bed at night I want that LOWE; Lusty, Orgasmic, Wanton, Eager, Slut there next to me. It is because she knows that she is cherished for who she is that not only are her weakness’s safe with me but so are her dreams that she can then be that open eager woman with me.
On Being His Babygirl
Had I not been asked to specifically write about being a babygirl, I might never have done it. While I identify as a “little” in the Daddy Dom/little girl dynamic of Dominance and submission (D/s), I always think of myself as submissive first and foremost. What I want, more than anything, is to submit to my Dominant – I just happen to call him Daddy. My Daddy is John Brownstone, or Southern Sir as some know him. He recently wrote about being a Daddy Dom, and now it’s my turn to write about being a babygirl, his babygirl.
Being a babygirl means that our D/s relationship doesn’t center around following strict protocol. I have rules, of course, and some of those rules are simply to please my Daddy, but most of them are to help me be healthier, grow as a person, or accomplish any goals I may have.
I am free to speak my mind, as long as I am respectful. I am encouraged to giggle and talk, to be silly and goofy, and to allow my playful side to come out into the open. When we are together, which isn’t often enough as we’re separated by 440 miles, I am often tucked by his side, holding his hand, leaning into him. Public displays of affection, especially spontaneous displays, are welcome and encouraged.
As a babygirl, when I feel comfortable, I’m often talkative, my words spilling over themselves in a giggly rush to come out. I am embarrassed easily, often blushing and shying away when Daddy says or does something sexually explicit (especially in public). I look to Daddy for answers or guidance when we’re together, and often when we’re not. I’m able to be vulnerable with him – giving voice to my fears, hopes, and joys. He sees a part of me that no one ever sees. With him, my hard, outer-shell falls away, and I allow my softer side to show.
We aren’t interested in age play, and when I’m feeling little, I don’t identify as a specific age, although some littles do. For me, being a babygirl is more of a mindset. For however brief a moment, I’m carefree, I’m taken care of, I’m shielded from the world by my Daddy. I’m allowed to be silly and playful, giggly and bubbly. I allow the numerous real-world responsibilities fall away, even for just a few seconds. I’m not a mom, a career-woman, or a bill-paying adult (although none of that ever truly goes away). I’m his babygirl who will do anything to make him smile and laugh.
I have what some would consider the “typical” little traits. I like Disney movies. Purple is my favorite color, and I’m a bit obsessed with it. I wear my hair in pigtails. I have a teddy bear named Mr. Teddy and a Hello Kitty blankie that are both gifts from my Daddy – and I sleep with them both every night. Every little or babygirl is different, though. And exhibiting some of these characteristics doesn’t automatically make someone a little.
As my Daddy, he takes care of me and set rules for me but in only ways that are mutually acceptable to both of us. Regardless of titles and playfulness, we’re in a D/s relationship and all the same rules apply – safe, sane, and consensual. Every day, Daddy decides whether I wear panties or not, and if so, which ones. Because I’m an emotional eater, he must approve my meals each day. Most of the strict rules I must follow are to benefit me. The panty thing? That’s for both of us.
When we’re naked and behind closed doors – or when I’m naked and we’re wherever he wants to be – I may scream out “Daddy!” in ecstasy, but we’re still a Dominant and his submissive in the throes of passion. I’m a masochist with an all-consuming need to please and submit. He’s a primal sadist who wants and needs to be in control. I kneel at his feet or crawl, as he wishes. He fucks me ruthlessly or sweetly depending on his mood. He controls my orgasms or forces them. We have our sexual kinks – bondage, rope, pain, spanking, flogging, exhibitionism, and more. None of that changes just because I call him “Daddy” and he calls me “babygirl.”
At the end of the day, we’re two people in a committed relationship. Daddy may be in charge, but I have a voice in our relationship. I’m always his submissive, and he is always my Dominant, regardless of titles. I know that I am loved and cherished. He holds my heart, and I hold his.
Wonderfully said both of you. I am taking the liberty of posting my favorite quote from John.
“So many times I hear someone say, “I want to tame him or her.”
I want nothing to do with that, love them for their wild side, if that is not what you want then look for someone who doesn’t have that wild side. Love them for who they are!”
The entire article I give them applause, to this quote I give a standing ovation. Thank you both.