This came from yesterday’s mailbag
So as apart of my punishment my Dom wants me to post and figure out what my punishment for breaking the rules should be so if you could help me fulfill this assignment it would be very helpful. I was granted permission to visit family on my own out of town and missed four check ins and mouthed off while I was there and was disrespectful to my Dom and when I got back I received my punishment but even then so I wasn’t thinking and took my collar off without asking first, and I was to turn in a assignment when I got back of all the things I had done while I was gone that I needed to be punished for and I didn’t so now my Dom wants me to decide my punishments and I am to ask for help on what it should be and I can’t come back with something mild either if its not severe and I don’t give a real punishment my punishment will be even more severe.
Thanks sincerely, Bretagne unterwürfig
First and foremost, I will not make your assignment easier by simply listing a number of fitting punishments (severe ones that are wank material). You seem hell bent of misbehaving and should have consequences that you need to figure out on your own. Having the answer handed to you won’t make much of an impression. If you have to think long and hard about what would be fitting, then perhaps you will think twice about breaking the rules. On the other hand, your Dom should know you and what you like and dislike and therefore should not feel the need to tell you to come up with your own punishment. This guessing game of will it be severe enough is silly. He needs to be creative and you need to show respect.
What I see from your letter is a relationship with a messed up power exchange. I am not blaming anyone here, but unless you identified as a submissive brat when you and your Dom entered into this relationship, you are going well beyond what is acceptable. If you did identify as a brat, then your Dom must understand that HE is the one who took you on, bratty ways and all, so HE should be the one to take you in hand and decide on a punishment that will not only make you regret your actions, but also will help you learn. If I were your Mistress you would be out the door. Your pattern of misbehavior, disrespect, and failure to learn from an assignment or punishment signifies a serious lack of communication or a submissive who really doesn’t care for or respect her dominant. If you have no respect for him, then you shouldn’t be in the relationship. I will not tolerate brattiness or subs that feel I must force them to obey. You do or you don’t. It’s that simple. You would be handed the ultimatum of getting yourself in line and following the rules that were set for you, or walking away.
I can’t possibly guess what would be severe enough for you when I don’t know you at all. If you are a huge masochist then physical pain won’t do a thing. If you love humiliation, public posting won’t do a thing, if you don’t mind writing, writing a list of wrongs won’t do a thing. And while I’m speaking or lists, IMO you should recite your wrongs orally. Simply listing them is silly. It doesn’t make much of an impression verse telling of them directly while facing your Dom, would. You seriously committed so many acts of disobedience while you were out of town for a bit? You are an adult, either you have too many rules or zero self control. Beauty behaves even when I am not at her side, not because she fears punishment, but because she doesn’t want to disappoint me. Where is your desire to please and be submissive?
There are a million and one ways to punish, but the most severe and proper one must come from you. Think for yourself, make a decision to show respect and care about what your Dom wishes, or forget it. You need to communicate and figure out WHY you can’t behave, not what punishment will make you behave. Some dominants like a sub who must be forced rather than submit freely, I am not one of those dominants, so I won’t take part in something you both need to figure out. A power exchange relationship needs:
sincere desire to please
sincere desire to lead and make decisions