This is the third in the series of guest posts that we will be doing on this blog. Cinnamon and Sparkles aka Phoenixasubbie talks about her relationship in DD/lg dynamic. It goes along with Kayla and John’s post on their relationship last Thursday. Comments are encouraged, discussion is fabulous, anything bordering on rude will be deleted. Please respect the dynamic she has chosen for herself. Have an open mind, learn something new, and help spread the word about the very positive relationships and aspects of BDSM.
I am a babygirl. I am a little girl. A daddy’s girl.
This is NOT age play for me. This is not role play. This isn’t something I do because I think it’s sexy and fun. (Although it is)
There are age players who practice DD/lg, but like any other dynamic, we all do it differently.
For me, this is who I am.
I don’t have Daddy issues. I was a total Daddy’s girl growing up. My father always made me feel special and loved. He still does. I’ll always be my Daddy’s girl.
Some people think I’m into incest play because I call my lover Daddy. Nothing could be further from the truth. True, there are kinksters who are into that particular role play but it has nothing to do with DD/lg.
I have had people compare my “kink” to pedophilia. Again, nothing could be further from the truth. While I am childlike in many ways, I am a fully grown woman. My Daddy is not sexually attracted to children. It’s highly offensive and ignorant for people to even compare the two.
Truth be told, I don’t even like to call this my kink. To me it’s as natural as breathing.
Recently someone called me a deviant. That hurt my feelings…..but then I realized that I needed to think about the word itself.
Deviant: Differing from a norm or from the accepted standards of a society.
Yes, I walk my own path from most of society. I don’t care. My path brings me the greatest happiness and peace I’ve ever known. If this makes me deviant, so be it.
So, what is to understand about DD/lg?
My whole life many people have called me little girl. It was never anything that any of us put conscious thought into….it’s just that they recognized that quality in me.
What’s the quality? What makes me a babygirl? A childlike innocence. Wonder. The trust of a child. An open heart. Vulnerability.
I know that I have always needed lots of attention and affection. Lots. Most (maybe all ? ) babygirls do I think. It doesn’t matter if I’m on my knees, his lap, or just laying side by side with him… To have Daddy hold me, and stroke my hair is complete and total bliss.
I have a near obsessive desire to please. I don’t do or not do things because of punishment, although that is part of our dynamic. I behave as I do because I want him to be pleased with me… proud of me… and of course, I want to hear that I am a good girl.
Crazy ridiculous what I’d do to hear those two words… followed closely by other terms of endearment. Pumpkin, angel, princess, babydoll… I love them all. They are better than any material gift.
And if I displease him, I am crushed. The verbalization that I have disappointed him, along with seeing it on his face, completely destroys me. If I am punished, I will cry. More like bawl my eyes out… These tears are not about the pain (although it hurts too) they are about my sadness at displeasing him.
Regarding the above two – it goes without saying that this extends to sex. A babygirl wants her Daddy to feel good. She wants to be his Good Girl and will be as naughty and nasty as Daddy wants her to be. She just needs to know that it’s safe to be his naughty girl.
I’m a grown up. I can and do handle my adult responsibility… but it just feels so much better to have the guidance of a Daddy. There is comfort there. Security.
I am a babygirl because I want my D/s served with kisses and cuddles.
There is a special language between Daddy Doms and babygirls. Only one can ever truly recognize the other instinctually and fully.
A Daddy and a Babygirl need each other. Without one another they are unfinished. They are a wish. A desire. A thought. Only together do they experience true joy and completion.
Thank you for this. I am coming from a totally different place than all of the others who have responded.
I am the Daddy in a relationship with a man who is fifteen years my junior. In public he presents as a virile, handsome, masculine, athletic man. In private, we both love that he is my sweet little girl. He loves being feminized, and I love feminizing him. Every day, he wears panties for me. At my demand, he not only sits to pee, but sends me photographic proof that he does so.
In public, and especially with other people, we are just two guys. Our private life of DD/lg is hugely satisfying to both of us. It very much reflects the dynamic laid out in Jolynn’s book, Taken in Hand, in that I am devoted to caring for my sub and he is devoted to serving me.
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This is absolutely wonderful. You state so clearly what very few of us truly understand. Thank you for being yourself sweet Cinn. It is your perfect gift to the world.
Thank you Sir. That is a lovely comment. Makes my heart melt. xo
Pingback: My take on DD/lg | CinnamonAndSparkles
This is an amazing post. Totally moved, tears pricking my eyes! Such a misunderstood dynamic and this explains it beautifully. Thank you so much. Cara x
Thank you! I am really thrilled to be able to help others articulate their feelings, as well as to shed light on our dynamic.
I’ll see if I can get a dominant babygirl to write for you.
Thank you Jolynn and Phoenixasubbie for this great post.
your touchec my heart
You are very welcome. I’m enjoying these posts, learning something, and happy to be spreading the word so we can help people understand. Next up is Poly relationships.
Thank you pageprincess. I’m touched by your comment. I’m thrilled Jolynn has given me, and others, this opportunity to share. Xxxx Phoenix
thank you for sharing your kink with us, you really helped me to understand this. it is interesting how much is similar in my thought process. I love to be told I am a good girl too. thanks for touching so much of the whole dynamic, very well written
I’m glad you felt that. I’m a babygirl, a little girl, but also a submissive with slave tendencies….
We’re all different, but also very much the same 🙂
/squeeee! You know I understand completely! And yes, it doesn’t feel like a kink…because it is so natural. ((HUGS))
I know you do 🙂
Counting the days down for you two!
BRAVO!!! Loved your post. Totally agree with you!! 🙂
Thank you! Xxxx Phoenix
759 more words. Getting out dictionary and thesaurus…lol
Okay, I’m quite curious about this comment. What??
So often I find myself trying to describe to people what kind of submissive I am or what exactly a babygirl is…this blog sums it up SO WELL!!!!!
Phoenix this was amazing you nailed it on the dot 😉 from little girls like us to the big girls who just don’t quite get it (standing ovation and claps) thanks joylnn for doing this 🙂
Hugs my friend xXxX. 🙂
This explains how I feel so much better than I was able to speak it. Thank you so much.
Smiles. I’m glad it touched you. I hope it helps promote understanding.
I am sure it will. Xxxx
Excellent job Phoenix. There is certainly some overlap between lg and submissive. I don’t think you can be an lg without being a submissive, please correct me if I am wrong. I see some of what you describe in myself, the obsessive desire to please, and the sadness at displeasing my Sir, but I do not have the childlike wonder and innocence. I’m not sure I ever did. Great post!
There actually are little girls who aren’t submissive. There are some that are actually dominant. Maybe Jolynn will find a couple like this..?
Wow. really? yes… I would love to read about that dynamic.
I didn’t know either. I was educated on Fet. 🙂 I’d love to know more about it too..
We’ll try to find different couples if we can. I don’t know if you girls know anyone we could talk to about it.
I’ve come across little girls who needed a good spanking because of their bratty behavior but their Daddy was still in the position of dominant. If anyone knows of a couple where the little girl is the dominant I would welcome a post.
This sounds like a wonderful relationship! Don’t worry about what others think. Do what is best for you!
I usually don’t, but being called ugly things does hurt. Having your relationship compared with illegal and disgusting things hurts….but at the end of the day, what I have with Daddy is beautiful and nothing I’d ever want to change.
Phoenix, this is an excellent post. Many of the qualities you talk about being traits of a lg are ones I see in Kayla. It is those very qualities that endears her to me even more. There certainly is a special language spoken between a Daddy and his little, a beautiful language of a true symbiotic relationship.
From you, I’m truly honored.
Reblogged this on Surrendered Heart and commented:
Thank you Jolynn for giving me this opportunity to share what I love. xx
You are very welcome Phoenix.
(Jumping up and down and clapping wildly) YES YES YES!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad you liked it
Liked it…I LOVED IT!!!!!!!