bdsm negotiations

Y is for Yellow or Know Your Safety Words #SpankA2Z 4 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives Jolynn Raymond Spanking A To Z Challenge on by (updated on )

Know Your Safewords Y is for yellow, and it also for one of the colors used almost globally during BDSM play. Yellow, though not often heard about or used in fiction BDSM books is important, and so is knowing how your partner feels when they answer “yellow” when asked what color they are feeling. There are many people who don’t feel a ‘true’ submissive or slave needs a safe word, many dominants who believe that having a safe word shows a lack of trust in their bottom. I’m not going to go into all of the reasons why I do believe in safe words, but I will say that I use the color code system EVERY TIME I play with a new partner. This is not because I don’t have faith in my ability to read someone. This is not because I want to be able to push my bottom […]

Aftercare and BDSM Play 94 comments

This entry was posted in BDSM and Domestic Discipline Archives on by (updated on )

Aftercare and BDSM Play I am a strong advocate of aftercare when engaging in BDSM play. What we do for recreation not only affects the body, but also affects the mind. Whether I play intimately with my wife, high impact with my play partner who is tough as nails, or am topping a friend who wishes to learn techniques or experience something new, I always provide aftercare. The only time I would not, would be if in the pre scene negotiations, and someone told me they wish to be left alone in their space. Even then, I wouldn’t feel it was just okay to put them out of my mind and I would make certain to learn what is their normal routine and usual activities after play. I will say right now that not every dominant or top believes in, or provides aftercare. Some feel, “Hey you, clean and put away […]