My Annual Christmas Post
And so it is time for my annual Christmas post. I have gifts to give, and this year I have one to take back as well. A lot has happened during 2015, some for good and some for bad, and we all know that the bad get a lump of coal. Seeing as how I am fresh out of coal, I will distribute my gifts as I see fit and that includes a few bad presents.
To my beautiful wife, I give the gift of seeing herself through my eyes. Another year has been added to your birthday total, and I wish you could see the perfection I see when I look at you instead of what time has changed. Your eyes are full of expression. Love, trust, mirth and even sorrow come my way when you look at me. I see no lines, just eyes that can lift my spirits with just one gaze. Your hair is full and wavy, long and soft. I love the scent of it when you snuggle next to me and the silky feel when I put my fingers in it. Your body is soft and cuddly, your arms open and comforting. I love you my beautiful wife, and you will always be perfect in my eyes.
This year I am handing a gift to myself. It is the gift of peace and persistence. My work situation has changed, so the amount of stress in my life has dropped by at least 90%. It is time for me to take better care of myself. Beauty does a wonderful job, but I need to start walking, just one step at a time. I will walk just a little more each day despite the exhaustion that sometimes overcomes me because really, if I were persistent in taking better care of me, then I wouldn’t be so tired. The living in a world of high alert stress is over. I can pack up my anxiety, my tension, the flight response that filled my body with adrenaline much of the time, along with my PTSD, because really, it’s been long enough. Peace and persistence have arrived in a pretty package. It’s time to open it.
The world has something taken away this year. Normally I, like many others, wish for peace on earth, but this year I am being a Scrooge and taking something back. Dear world, I am taking back your hand basket. Do you hear me? You no longer have a hand basket to go to hell in so you must stop all the hatred and death. There are too many children in this world that I love, and they have no desire to inherit a place that is flying towards Hades in a woven hamper. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.00 dollars, and do not receive a new basket to carry you into 2016. It is gone, so there is nothing to convey you up the creek.
To my new colleagues and boss. I give you a huge helping of joy to feast from. Thank you for treating people like people. Thank you for being helpful. Thank you for being kind as I learned and am learning. I completely forgot what it was like to work in a place with comradery, decency, trust, and a genuine feeling of togetherness. We actually laugh and have fun all while performing the job we are expected to do and without someone always spying, bullying, and dishing out threats and verbal abuse.
To the children in my life, I give a sense of wonder and a box full of persistence like I gave myself. Never stop looking at the world with a sense of wonder. There are so many things wrong in our world, but there is also unimaginable beauty. See the differences in a positive light. Diverse is special and magical, not hateful and wrong. Don’t stay huddled in your own little box, explore and feel the wonder of discovering and learning new things. And if your discoveries lead you to something fantastic but nearly insurmountable, grab hold of that persistence. There is no need for rose colored glasses if you are brave enough to discover the beauty and tenacious enough to never stop trying.
To my pets, I give back all the love you give to me. I am very thankful that Beauty takes on the bulk of your care. Having three special needs pets is a lot to handle. I fuss and moan about the cost of your medicine, the mess you make, and how you are always underfoot, but when you are under foot, you are also by my side. You are loyal, devoted, and give unconditional love, and so I give you peace. Erase the line in the sand, stop looking at each other as enemies. Really Oliver, if you and the dog would just see each other as friends, you would both be happier. As for Abbey, you are fourteen and arthritic, so I forgive your grumpiness. You just want to protect your people, have some peace and quiet, and have a warm and soft place to nap.
To Keegan: Thank you for looking out for and helping your moms. I am proud of you for the man you have become. You are responsible (mostly), reliable, and even sensible for the most part. So I gift you with time. More time spent not working, and more time to spend with your daughter. You’re a good dad and a good son.
To my friends. I give you a gold coin for each time you have heard me say “I can’t. I have work to do.” I have drifted far from the fun and relaxation I find when I spend time with any of you, especially those who are my kink family. I know people and things change, but thank you for not fussing, or at least not letting me hear you fuss about the fact that I am never anywhere but home in front of the computer endlessly working. Please remember I am by far happier even though I have to work at home most, okay every, weekend. Line your pockets with the gold, and please still be there for me when I can surface. It really won’t be that long now.
To my brother I give a great big, huge, monstrous, helping of responsibility. Please take some of it because Beauty and I can’t carry it all. You have avoided it your whole life, but it’s high time you start accepting it. Things will not go on your way forever, and that gravy train is going to bypass your station. Stop lying, cheating, and stealing, especially from the Queen Mother. Grow up, because really, you are 55 now, and the time has come in life where we are supposed to take care of mom, not the other way around. Get a job, pull your weight, keep your hands off what doesn’t belong to you, and just stop the bull shit! And by the way, Beauty says if she were more limber you would receive a kick in the ass.
And finally, to the Queen Mother. Each year now is treasured more than the last. We love you so much and even though I know you know that, I also know that talks on the phone can’t replace visits in person. We are lucky enough to still have you. Many of my friends don’t have moms or dads anymore. I give you tolerance for the body which has been yanking you around all year. To your heart, I say just march along to the beat of the band. No variations, please. I think you get tired of living sometimes, but we can’t even imagine a world without you. Take our love and our wish for your continued presence in our world. You bring a bushel full of joy to those you meet every day. Unwrap your gift of love slowly or rip the paper off in a mad frenzy, because you will never be able to empty the box. Our love will always remain.
So that is it. My gift bag is empty. Take these presents into 2016 and let them make your world a better place.
Merry Christmas,
Jolynn