Still Kinky After All These Years 48 comments

Lady Taya and Jud – {Not Jolynn in the picture}

Disclaimer: The story below sprang forth from a dinner conversation. We have not attended the BDSM Writers Con. That adventure happens this summer. I am choosing that particular venue because we are strangers there, and have discussed the fact that the DMs will need to be spoken to.

Still Kinky After All These Years

We have an old guy. I’ve written about him before because he is such an important part of our lives. He’s part friend, part counsel to the Queen, part play partner, and all family. He’s our Loyal Lesbian, our occasional chauffeur, someone we laugh with, go places with, and worry about. He’s getting up there in years and has a wealth of information and life stories jam packed inside that grey haired head. Someday he and I are going to sit down and write his biography because the stories he can tell about his kinky lifestyle through the years are hilarious and amazing, but the most important thing you should know about our old guy, is that we love him.

Jud was recently over for dinner and some heavy duty play. We were discussing our trip to New York, what the days of the BDSM Writers Con had scheduled, and what we all wanted to do on our free time, when the subject of dungeon rules, heavy play, and what kind of limits they might have at the local dungeon hosting convention goers might have. We’ve all been around, Jud has played in many countries, and we’ve gone to events in other states, so are familiar with the basic rules. One thing that is for certain is that there will be dungeon monitors.

The DMs are the people in the dungeon who keep watch over everyone there. They are also the only people who should ever stop a scene. If you plan on a heavy scene, you should give them a heads up. They then can tell anyone who might be concerned that yes, the scene they are seeing is consensual, and there is no need to worry about either player. That brings us back to the fact that we have an old guy.

Jud is in smack dab in the middle of 70 and 80, and like most people his age, his body isn’t what it used to be. He has glasses, hearing aids, his balance is a bit off, his hair is grey, and he looks a bit fragile. He is, in fact, what he appears, except for his ass, and even that needs to be lotioned up since his skin is thinner that it used to be. The thing is; he is still a huge masochist. He loves pain. The more, the better and is completely open with his doctor about his love of all things sadistic, so we know all is good. None of his meds cause blood thinning, his heart is in good shape, nothing has broken down that would affect his ability to enjoy his much loved extreme sport.

So why am I sharing this with you and what exactly does our old guy have to do with you, my loyal reader? Everything. Maybe not now, and maybe not even twenty or thirty years from now, but the time will come when it means a great deal. So gather round and listen to a tale my kinky friends. It’s part fiction and part fact, with a small dose of serious mixed with the fun. It is meant to make you think twice, as well as being a nugget of information to tuck to the back of your brain for a time you may need it.

Once upon a time there was a woman who was well known in her kink community. She played hard at times, but folks didn’t worry. She was an author, sex educator, Mistress, lesbian, and wife, and her friends knew they would be safe in her hands if they ever snagged a spot on her dance card at parties or public events. In other words, this woman was sadistic, but people knew her style and ethics and knew she was a caring and happy sadist. Just makes you feel fuzzy all over doesn’t it?

Well, in her inner court, the Queen, as those who were close to her called her, had a loyal play partner who was climbing the ladder towards elderly. His wit was sharp as ever, his sense of humor caused many a laugh, and his antics were the source of much smartassery. Age hadn’t slowed him down, and it hadn’t effected his desire for pain either. Let me say that again, his age hadn’t diminished the huge masochist inside him who craved brutal BDSM play. Not one bit.

And so a time came when the Queen, her wife Beauty, and their loyal lesbian Jud were getting set to go to New York City for a BDSM Writers Con, and as they made their plans. They decided on what toys ought to be brought across the country and who would play at the dungeon hosting the event. They decided that a co topping scene would work best to ensure everyone had fun and that the Queen didn’t expend too much of her inner energy playing with both Beauty and with Jud. They had often co topped before and knew it was great fun.

The dungeon night arrived with all the NYC lights to usher it in. There was excitement in the air. This was New York, after all. Even veterans of the kink lifestyle felt the rush of adrenaline the city fueled as the sun when down and the millions of lights came on in the city that never sleeps. Many of the BDSM Writers Con attendees were fairly fresh faced. Perhaps they had arrived at this kinky place and time because a book stirred up a longing. Perhaps they’d practiced BDSM and kinky fun in their own homes, but never ventured out to meet other kinksters. Whatever the reason, their excitement and wonder ran deep, and it was contagious.

The time arrived, and so Beauty, the Queen, and Jud grabbed the small bag that held needed aftercare supplies and the toy bags and headed out to the dungeon. They’d made new friends during the day at the workshops and said hello to a few people when they first arrived, but, for the most part, they didn’t know anyone well. After signing the required papers, they entered the dungeon and paused to take in the lay out and look for an open cross. Spying one near a corner wall across the dungeon, they set out to claim it.

As they walked, people turned their heads to watch them go. Beauty and Jolynn aka the Queen tend to attract a little attention, but Beauty and Jolynn knew it was Jud that made people wonder. There are older kinky folks out there, and dungeons are full of people who come in all shapes and sizes, but two lipstick lesbians and an old guy are a bit different. As they walked, Beauty and the Queen hovered a bit at Jud’s side. Jolynn always did the same with her 88-year-old mom. She walks with an eye on her mom’s steps, hands slightly out, trying not to look obvious as she does her best to be prepared if anyone trips. A dungeon can be a hazardous place. It tends to be darker, and sometimes the bottoms of the suspension rigs jut out or a cord is running here or there. Most everything is well marked, but she and Beauty hover all the same. Her goal is to get Jud to the cross in one piece because on the cross is the safest place he can be with her. Jud isn’t fragile, but he is clumsy, and his balance could be better.

Once at the cross, they quickly got set up, and soon Jud was standing face first up against the cross. He was nude aside from the little pouch in front, and he looks, well, old, and kind of fragile. The trio know people are wondering about the scenario, and didn’t expect Jud to be the one in position for a beating. Many think perhaps he is there to assist his mistress while she plays, or perhaps be of use some other way, but they didn’t imagine they’d see him in a scene in which he bottomed.

The Queen began with some light paddling, slowly working both her and Jud’s way up the ladder of harder implements and more intense pain, with Beauty doing a tag team with her toys of choice. Soon they are in the midst of an intense scene as Beauty causes welts with cane, paddle, and strap while Jolynn uses the neon wand on said welts first with her fingers sparking along their pathway, and then with her steel claws and the wicked six wheeled Wattenberg wheel which delivers an intense shock along with its sharp bite.

Knowing Jud as well as she did, the Queen holds nothing back, and puts her all into alternating smacks of the Corian lollipop paddle on Jud’s bottom and upper thighs with electrical play as Beauty stepped in to take over when the Queen needs a rest. Playing with Jud is hard work.

Their heavy play had caught the eye of more than one person in the dungeon as Jud howled, and whoo whooed and hollered. The work over their old guy was receiving was vicious. His skin was white in spots where the Corian lollipop smacked accompanied by bright red welts delivered by Beauty, a scent of ozone was in the air, attesting to how high the neon wand was turned up.

After a particularly hard ten with the lollipop on Jud’s inner thighs that cracked above the dungeon music, a man watching the scene turned and walked towards one of the dungeon monitors, motioning towards the trio at the cross with a concerned expression. Jud simply looked too fragile for such a hard session despite the fact that he was given water on a regular basis, and his cries were those of joy. “Yummy yummy pain,” and “Thank you, Benjamin Franklin!” Were some of his witty phrases that spoke of his enjoyment, but still, he was, well, old, and he was being given so much. The man wasn’t the only one who appeared concerned either.

I’ll stop this tale right here because my point has been made, and we have discussed talking to the DM’s at the dungeon space in NYC because what I just wrote about is a typical scene with Jud. He loves pain in huge doses, AND he looks as if he should be handled with care instead of paddling his ass off. The thing is; I do handle him with care. I know when his thin skin is on the verge of breaking. I know he needs fluids, I know that even though he would pop right off the cross hankering for more than chocolate and a warm aftercare blanket is best.

I wrote this post because I want to be sure my readers to know that looks can be deceiving, but more than that, because when you get older, your kinky needs don’t just fade away. Jud has won records for taking 1000 cane strokes in Australia. He is well known by the mistresses in Chicago and is usually a demo bunny for classes if they are on harsh punishment. He not only takes a licking and keeps on ticking, he asks for more. Jud is a downright pain slut, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon just because he will start his climb towards 80 very soon.

I am careful with him. Very careful, and he is careful with himself most of the time. I pay close attention and have on a couple of occasions, told him it was time to stop when he overfilled his dance card at events. I know what he can take. I know what medication he is on, I know there are no health concerns right now. Jud is basically a masochistic senior citizen. People may be shocked when they see him, or us play, but really folks, I want you to think about this, kinky doesn’t just go away when you hit a magical birthday.

Think of your own kink needs. Perhaps you have a medical condition. I have a friend who has MS, and she loves to play. I myself have a seizure disorder which is starting to affect my vision. It has been a challenge when it comes to flogging. My depth perception sucks now. The thing is, I know myself and I would never play when I’ve been having a bad time of it health wise. People go through a huge number of changes in their bodies throughout their lives and while yes, kinky needs can come and go; they aren’t always contingent on age or a medical condition.

As I’ve said before, the dungeon or munch you might visit is not going to be full of perfect people. People of all shapes, sizes, and ages are kinky and love to play. My kink is part of me. As long as I am responsible and honest with myself when it comes to medical stuff, there is no need for me to stop playing. My 88 year old mom asked me for a vibrator after reading one of my books, and let me tell you, that was a huge wow moment that felt uncomfortable, but really, people don’t stop needing physical pleasure, contact, kinky play, or cuddling just because they get old.

So don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t think people with health conditions don’t feel kinky anymore.  Jud isn’t a dirty old man; he is a masochistic old man. He is open with his doctor about everything, and in turn is open to me. The face of kinky isn’t just the sexy Mistress in the corset and skin tight leather pants or the perfect looking well muscled guy with the come hither eyes. In fact, I rarely see those two folks at play places. Kinky is old, young, thin, fat, pretty, homely, agile, decrepit, using a walker, sprinting around the dungeon, and anyone else I may have missed. Don’t make assumptions, don’t turn up your nose, and don’t imagine you know what is best for players in a scene. By all means speak to a DM if you are seriously concerned, but don’t step in, don’t make loud comments, don’t get in my play area, and screw up our head space. So yes I am beating grandpa. You better bet I am. He would be oh so sad if I didn’t, and I would miss out on a huge amount of joy as well.

The grey in my hair and the wrinkles on my face mean nothing aside from the fact that I have had a good long time to hone my craft. As long as I can safely play, I will be the joyful, caring, evil sadist that my friends and kink family know and love. The cover may be getting a bit dusty and faded, but the story is as wild as ever. ~ Jolynn

Side Note: We haven’t been to the BDSM Writers Con in NYC yet, and this will be our first time there. Jolynn was making a point in her story about kink and aging. ~ K