A Beginners Toy Bag 3 comments

In the past I shared photos of our playroom/dungeon in our basement, but I want to address what a beginner would want to start with if they wanted to collect a few things to test out kinky play. You really do not have to spend tons of money to get a few items to start off with. Don’t go and spend a lot of money. I personally spend WAY too much money on toys when we go to the kink conventions but I have bee doing this for a long time and know quality when I see it. I am also looking for things that are unique, but you do not need to do this. I also don’t buy toys off the internet. I purchase them from local kink craftsmen and women who I know make top quality toys. Your basic internet kinky toy site make give you crappy things for a high price.

The author of this article will not be held liable for any actions or injuries caused by BDSM or sexual foreplay engaged in by the reader. The author will not be held liable for the use or misuse of any of the items mentioned. This is an informational post only and is not meant to encourage anyone nor be a substitute for reading and or learning more information on how to engage safely in any play. The author also is in no way suggesting items from the website listed below be used in an inappropriate manner or manner for which they were not intended by the seller’s website. Proceed at your own risk and use care and caution. All play should be done in a safe manner with safety supplies at hand


ALL PLAY MUST BE CONSENSUAL!!! That means you have your partners permission to engage in the activities. Any play without permission is abuse.

The Basics –

If you are going to play, the first thing you need is a basic first aide kit. If you break the skin it needs to be cleaned and then have antibacterial cream applied. Take care of the one you play with. no one wants infected cane strokes or abrasions and have to go to the doctor. Also, in many states the “abuser” can be prosecuted without the one bearing the marks cooperation. Just something to think about, so take care to treat any open lacerations or broken skin. You may also want an instant ice pack.

First aide kit needs – Band-Aids, antibacterial cream, alcohol wipes, gauze wrap, gauze pads, electrolyte replacement powder, same stuff basically as Gatorade put in a small powder pack read directions!, instant heat pack for strained muscles, hard candy – Bottoms of submissive partners can have a drop in blood sugar during play because of all the endorphins and such. Always give your play partner water (Not soda and never alcohol!) throughout a scene and chocolate or candy after. A safety scissors preferably with neon or glow in the dark handle. When you play the light may be dim. You have to be able to find that scissors fast if you need to cut your partner down in an emergency. You may also want some kind of numbing cream like those sold to use on a guys cock to make him less sensitive to apply after a spanking. Rub that skin softly during aftercare. Be a good partner and care for yours after the scene is done. Solarcane can also be sprayed on. Many masochists enjoy the burn but new players may be overwhelmed.

There are a lot of books and DVDs that show the basic principles of knots and bondage. Familiarize yourself by reading or watching YouTube clips before you tie someone up. Be safe people.

You can find good quality rope at Home Depot or other chain home improvement stores. I am rope impaired so I can’t talk on the quality as much as I would like but make sure the rope is smooth, make sure there is enough thickness, I’m going to say 1/4 inch minimum but please read up on it, so it is not going to cut into the skin (it shouldn’t be that tight anyway!) You can get a pair of handcuffs because some think that’s hot, but then don’t get cheap one that are going to jam and don’t lose the key. I mentioned safety scissors up top. it should always be close if you are going to tie someone up and the bright handle is important to find it quickly no matter the light situation.

Basic impact toys/items

Your hand is your cheapest toy. You can give stinging slaps, thuddy spanks with you hand slightly cupped, rapid fast and hard, soft and gentle warm ups, use your nails to scratch the red areas lightly or scratch the back and bottom, note I am not saying claw. If you are going to break the skin by scratching make sure you have consent from your partner and that your nails are clean Your hand can also be used for insertion of course but no ass to vagina or ass to mouth. There are those who will argue that it’s safe. No amount of arguing will change my mind. I have experience with a case of terrible intestinal trouble as well as a hard to clear up vaginal infection from that. Your hand can be used for a lot of different sensations from ahhhhhh to ouch! Be creative.

Wooden spoon – Very stingy impact but then just save it for play. Don’t put it back in the kitchen and don’t use for insertion. New one can give splinters, old smooth ones can hold bacteria.

Wooden hair brush – Very much an ouch! We use this just for punishment.

A good wooden paddle – I say invest in one. Ping Pong paddles are not all that great, the handle isn’t meant for or designed to hold onto with heavy impact.

Leather paddle or slapper – these give a very different sensation. Our leather slapper is Beauty’s favorite impact toy. You can get one from the Horse Tack Co. online. http://www.horsetackco.com/leather-dogging-bat.html#.Uf51ExQo72Q You can use these for stinging smack. between the thighs back and forth rapidly, upon the breasts or nipples, etc. You can use it to slap the pussy as well. It doesn’t have a super stingy bite so it’s my toy of choice besides my hand for pussy punishment. The price is much cheaper than you’ll find on any internet toy site and this is a great quality toy.

A leather belt – You can find all sorts of belts for different sensations from whippy to thuddy. There are braided leather, thick, thin. Make sure you can grip it well so the buckle isn’t coming into play. I do not hit with the buckle but that is me. I will advise against it but others might feel differently. Just make damn sure you have something to clean the skin with and bandage it proper.

A riding crop
– See the link above for a good price. Crops are useful for impact but also for visual stimulation. They look hot, make a swishing sound when waved and a smack when slapped into your palm while talking. A good toy all around.


Canes – Canes come to play in a lot of stories. You need to know what you’re doing because they can do a lot of damage quickly. I have a good cane set and they don’t always have to hurt. I enjoy drumming and light tapping as well as other play. You can find bamboo in antique stores but wipe it down with alcohol. You don’t know where that thing has been.


Soft fur/ faux fur – You can pick up a soft piece of fur or faux fur from the local fabric store. Often remnants are cheapest.

A couple of dildos – I advise against the jelly dildos. You can have a couple sizes to use in whatever creative manner you want but again, no ass to anywhere else. Put a condom on it for anal play. The ass has bacteria you don’t want anywhere else.

A Feather
– Find these at a craft store. Not everything has to hurt.

Your Mouth – Teeth for nipping and biting. (don’t break the skin. Our mouths have a lot of bacteria. Sucking, lapping, licking. You get the idea.

Clothes pins – Wide variety od uses from the tip of a sassy tongue to nipples to pussy lips to lots of creative places. I like wooden one but they can stick to skin some so be careful when removing them. Clean them. Be mindful not to leave them on too long and of the fact that when you remove them, the part that was pinched will HURT when the blood rushes back in.

Baby wipes, anti bacterial wipes, tissues – Clean up implements, clean up submissive/bottom, wipe tears

Lube – Important for many reasons. A must for any anal play

There are so many other toys that once you’ve been doing things a while you can add. It is always advisable to read up and to practice first. A flogger shouldn’t just be used all over. Find out about wrapping, where never to hut, etc. From paddles to electric play, to edge play, to elaborate costumes for role play. The most important toy you bring to a play scene is your brain, and the 2nd most important thing you bring is your imagination.

Learn about, read about what you want to do to another person first. Have their consent and respect their safe word. To bottoms/ submissives/ slaves/ etc. don’t play without negotiation, trust your partner, get to know your partner. Be safe, be careful. The author of this article shares no responsibility for any actions undertaken by those who read this post. This post is not a substitute for read about play more thoroughly. This is an overview of toys, not a tutorial on how to play.

About JolynnRaymond

Writer of historical paranormal romance, kinky historical romance, and BDSM Mistress and Sex Blogger. I hold the position of being one of Kinkly's Top 100 Sex Bloggers. Two of my books, Taken in Hand A Guide to Domestic Discipline and His Lordship's Wayward Wife, have been nominated as best BDSM Non Fiction and Best BDSM Historical books of the year. The awards ceremony will take place at the BDSM Writers Con in New York City this August.

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